Did I resolve to be a better mom in 2020? Nah. Not going to work for me. I found out recently that just about half of the people who make New Year’s resolutions fall off the wagon in January. Those are a lot of failures right there. I want no part of it. Which isn’t to say that I’m not on board with self-improvement. I definitely do want to be a better mom in 2020. I am just going about achieving that goal a little differently..
They say the best way to meet any goal is to be accountable. And what does that better than a contract? So to start the year off right I wrote up what I’m calling a mommy contract. It’s not legally binding, of course – especially since the only people who had to sign it were me, myself, and I. My mommy contract is just a way of putting into words the values I want to live in 2015 and something I can use to remind myself of those values when the going gets tough.
And it will! How many hats do I wear again? I’m a mom and I’m a wife. I’m a writer and entrepreneur. I’m a social media consultant and a daughter, a sister, and a friend. On most days, I feel like I am responsible for everything under the sun, from my son’s night waking to this or that company’s social media engagement. How do I fit it all into an average day? The answer is, I don’t. And that’s what MY mommy contract is all about – remembering to reach for the brass ring that is balanced, again and again, even if I never actually grab hold. Just trying makes my life immeasurably better.
Here are a few of the line items in my mommy contract:
I don’t have to do it all – and I shouldn’t
If I’m working, I need to work. If I’m spending time with my kids, I need to be present. When I try to work and engage with kids both parts of my life get the worst of me.
Family comes first
I want to be as successful as I can, but when I feel like I’m short-changing my family in favor of my career I need to take a hard look at how I’m prioritizing. My kids won’t be kids forever but work will always be there.
Never forget there is a ‘me’ in mom
I think it’s healthy for kids to see their parents as actual people with their own inner and outer lives instead of robots programmed to do nothing but serve. I shouldn’t ever feel guilty for going to dance class or excusing myself to work on a project.
Be a better mom friend
Whatever that means – whether it’s reaching out more instead of waiting for the invitations to roll in or reaching out to friends I haven’t made yet just by helping other moms. Generosity is a great trait to model for kids!
I don’t sweat the small stuff
I’m working on this one slowly. I see it as a process. The small stuff can feel big until something truly big happens. I’d rather enjoy the now with my family even if it’s messy and sometimes even annoying.
Or the ‘what ifs.’
I have explored so many goals that I will never meet. I have held on to some of these for so long after it was time to let them go, and boy, are they heavy. I need to focus on what’s in front of me, whether that’s my kids or my career, and not what 25-year-old me thought I should be doing now.
There’s plenty more to my mommy contract but my goal in sharing these items wasn’t to hold myself accountable to you but rather to inspire you to create one of your own. No matter what you want to accomplish as a mom, a wife, a worker, and a person, write it down and print it and hang it up somewhere you’ll see it every day. I bet you anything it will make living your values and achieving your goals that much easier.