There is always a mom in the bunch that has ‘those kids’. If you don’t know someone with ‘those kids’, you are probably her. If you do know someone with ‘those kids’, you may have them, too. If you describe your kids as loud and wild, crazy, all over the place, rambunctious, etc., your kids are ‘those kids’.
It’s not their fault
Don’t misunderstand, kids will push the boundaries and try to get away with as much as possible but, the truth is that not even half of the blame lies on them. How you parent your kids directly affects how they act at home and in public. We are talking about children who haven’t been determined to have special needs, but all kids, regardless of need or ability, require good parenting.
You are the parent-don’t take that lightly. Parents can have a close and loving relationship with their kids without letting them just do whatever they want. Would you stay married to a man that would only be your husband if you let him do whatever he wanted? Would you work for a company that would only hire you if you let them change your schedule, duties, and pays at will? Of course not! The same confidence that you have in your marriage and/or career should carry over to your parenting. You need your child’s respect more than their approval. Parents need their children to listen to them and they need to be actively parenting their children.
If you think it’s cute, keep it at home
Really. You may think that Timmy, running back and forth, yelling and pretending to be Superman is cute at dinner, but the people in the restaurant with you would really appreciate it if he sat down and stopped ruining their experience. If you really think that people want to spend their money for a night of the “Timmy’s losing his sh*t” show, then book a venue and sell tickets, but stop spoiling everyone else’s night. When you see other kids behaving while yours is acting like a maniac, it isn’t because the other kids are different, it’s because the other parents have done their job. It’s that simple.
It isn’t their personality…but it will be
Kids that behave terribly usually have parents that smile and blame it on their personality, their love for life, them just being them. This is a nice way of saying, “I just don’t want to put any effort into correcting bad behavior” and that has real consequences. One day, Timmy will be fired from his job for screaming at his boss because he never learned that there is a way to speak to people, he will go to jail for disorderly conduct because he was never taught that sometimes you have to have self-control, and he may never even live to make those mistakes because he might jump out of a moving vehicle because he was never taught that bad choices have consequences. Ignoring a child’s bad behavior now is only setting them up for a rude awakening later, and that is a cruel and avoidable fate that no parent wants for their child.
But I don’t want to be a ‘Tiger Mom’
Parents can be fun and loving and still have kids that act like humans. Teach your kids to respect your words and hold them accountable for their actions and you will find that you have to correct them less and, because they will have boundaries, you all will have more fun together. Crazy as it sounds, kids not only need structure and boundaries, they want them. It’s good to know where the ‘fences’ are in your day today.
No offense, but, Timmy can’t come over anymore
No one wants their home destroyed by your kid. If your child isn’t showing you respect there is a good chance that they aren’t showing others respect either and, over time, you will find that your child is left out of activities and isn’t getting invited over more because they are lacking basic home training. You need to teach your child to respect their own home so that they will respect the homes of others. You need to teach your child to use inside voices inside your home so that they will remember to do so in the homes of their friends and you need to make sure that your child listens to you the first time so that he or she listens to their teachers and their friend’s mom or dad when you aren’t around.
No one is picking on you
When an adult tells you that you kids have misbehaved, don’t get defensive, look into it, and correct the behavior. You aren’t your child’s bestie, BFF, their homegirl, or ‘just like a sister’ to them…you’re their mom. Other parents aren’t judging you when they tell you that your child has misbehaved, they are trying to help you correct the problem because they believe that you would want to. When your child is hanging from the rafters and acting disruptively and you sit back and smile or shrug like it’s no big deal, trust me, right then and there you are being judged-and harshly. Sitting back and doing nothing is as bad as saying, “Do it again! Do it again!”.
Kids aren’t born good or bad, they are raised and taught to be one or the other. Other parents aren’t lucky they have a ‘good kid’, they are actively working with their child so that the child not only knows right from wrong, but the child chooses right over wrong without being told…and that’s what makes their kid so good.
You can do it
Parenting isn’t always easy and it isn’t always pretty but it is what your kids need and what they deserve. Love your kids by teaching them how to behave and if you aren’t sure if their behavior is wrong, ask yourself how you would feel if the neighbor’s kid did the same thing? Annoyed? Irritated? Then fix it. Parenting isn’t just about being able to eat in a restaurant without being asked to leave or being included on the birthday party list. Parenting lays down the foundation that your child will carry throughout their lives, long after they have left your home. You don’t want to waste this opportunity to shape and mold your child into the strong and responsible adult that they can one-day become-and that they deserve to become.