After 17 years, 10 months, 3 weeks and 2 days of having preschoolers at home with me, this morning I sent my youngest child off to her first day of kindergarten. I also sent my oldest off to the first day of her senior year in high school. With five children in between them, the first day of school always tends to be emotional for me as I say good-bye to another summer that was filled with lazy days and fun family activities. This year however because of the major milestones, I seemed to begin experiencing the emotion of the first day of school last spring.
I am generally a cheerful person. I like to look ahead with anticipation, even when what lies ahead includes some uncertainties. As I considered the changes that are occurring in our family, I have felt joy for my children as they begin new adventures. After having preschoolers for almost 18 years, I have not been dreading the day when my baby went to kindergarten. However, I have wondered with a bit of unease, about who I am, or who I will be or should be in this new chapter. Much of my time will still be consumed with my normal responsibilities. No matter how old my children become, I don’t foresee ever being able to avoid grocery shopping completely. Keeping the house relatively clean doesn’t seem to get easier or take less time. I will still be coordinating schedules and making dinner and generally serving as the chief operating officer of our family. Even with all that, it is hard not to recognize that milestones reached and passed in my children’s lives inevitably have an effect on my life.
Whether you are sending your youngest off to kindergarten, experiencing the transition to new motherhood with your first little one, or somewhere in between, turning the page in our lives as parents can be filled with mixed emotions. As I have wrestled with the Lord Jesus about who I am to be in this next stage, I have learned to find rest in His constant reminder that I am first and foremost a woman that He has called to know and enjoy Him forever. Whatever else it is that fills my days going forward, it all stems from that understanding. My activities and responsibilities do not define who I am, so just because my role is slightly changing, I need to remember that I remain the woman that God created me to be. Years ago, I thought I understood that lesson. I’ve realized recently that I need to revisit the lesson again each time the page turns.
What changes are happening for you this season?
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